they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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