If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Too much gin, very little bucket
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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