I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
