I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
