so let's talk penis.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
