By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
