Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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