So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This is the high leading the old right now
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
