White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
