I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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