Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like heaven, but drunker
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
