I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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