Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
