Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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