The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize