Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
home. puking in laundry basket.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I fill condoms, not promises.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
