she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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