laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
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I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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