This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
