yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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