Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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