what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
