Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
