just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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