WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
