party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
