she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
