im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
