Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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