Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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