You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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