I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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