Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
