Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Someone shattered a urinal.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have aggressive nipples.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
