I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
