I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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