a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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