I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
