On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
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She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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