Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
