I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
