More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
