just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
