Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
