Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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