just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
