Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
