I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
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You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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