we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
