so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
