Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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