I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
