i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
