Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
