Whatcha textin bout Willis?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize