you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize