Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
