Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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