Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Boobs speak an international language.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
