Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
