THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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