Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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