i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
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i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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