fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
