come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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