Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
