Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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